By Marie A. Bowen
“Beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him,
because we shall see him as he is.”
1 John 3:2
Until Jesus returns to earth, we all face physical death. Christians face challenges of aging, but our hope of eternal life helps us retain joy and grow in self-giving love. The same man who cried, “I loathe my life” (Job 10:1), gained eternal hope despite tremendous suffering and later said, “For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God …” (Job 19:25-26).
Job’s story shows God is at work forming us at life’s end just as he forms a child in the womb of his mother (Psalm 139:13- 16). We are called to grow in love and service to others even as we grieve the loss of loved ones to physical death and the limitations caused by our own or our loved ones’ illnesses, dementia, weakness, loss of mobility, or need for daily care.
How Christians love and care for older adults is a powerful witness to the reality of the creative work of the Holy Spirit forming us to be like Jesus.
Let me be honest, though. I have been surprised by the strength of the spiritual battle as I seek to trust what God is forming in my husband and seek to yield to what God is forming in me as caregiver. In 2014, my husband began exhibiting alarming symptoms diagnosed two years later as early-onset Alzheimer’s. I have found essential strength in daily reading of God’s word, prayer, singing hymns and never missing a Sunday sermon livestreamed by our church (See Resources: Walker).
Paul gives love priority placement in the list of the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). In his book, Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia, John Dunlop, MD writes of how God’s love anchors Christian care, p. 18:
“Distinctively Christian care should spring from an unselfish love for those in need, not from a sense of obligation or the desire to receive recognition. … Christians also have unique resources to help them, including the wisdom and love of God that comes through the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit, the ability to pray for God’s comfort and help, and a church body willing to pitch in and assist. Perhaps above all else, caregivers who rely on God can appreciate the fact that they, too, have a caregiver in heaven, the Lord Jesus.”
For ten years I have had a front row seat in the classroom you could call Elder Care 101. I want to share here some of the most meaningful ways individuals and churches have shown God’s love to Roland and to me.
Share Information
An article on dementia care in a PPL newsletter more than a decade ago advised caregivers to seek legal help to prepare wills and power of attorney papers early. We did. A conference I attended by The Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity on Christian principles in making medical decisions at the end of life was a help for older adults guarding against coercive arguments to hasten death.
Moreover, a Sunday school class by Dr. Michael Rogers based on his book, What Happens After I Die, fortified our faith in God’s promise of eternal life (See Resources: Rogers). Then an evening workshop on various forms of Dementia prepared me for talking with Roland’s doctor and encouraged transparency and ministry within the church congregation. Hosting speakers from your local office of aging, hospice or senior housing facilities may lead older adults to find help they need in a devastating diagnosis.
Encourage Intergenerational Relationships
When thinking about older adult care in church we are tempted to take our cues from the age silos created by society. Establishing a “seniors’ ministry” may have a sidelining effect that fails to address the loneliness and isolation many older adults feel. Alternatively, some simple steps may lead your church to amazing engagement between generations.
Celebrate birthdays of those over 80, and marriages of 50+ years.
Publish a list of shut-ins for mailing Christmas cards.
Go Caroling at senior housing facilities where older adult members live.
Hold an annual dinner for members 80 years and older. Arrange transportation for those in wheelchairs. Let the youth group wait on tables.
Hold all-church dinner events quarterly: a worship service in the park followed by a potluck meal, a pie and gift basket auction funding youth mission trips, a food truck or bring your bag lunch after worship on the church lawn.
Small Gifts that are Meaningful
We older adults can be a proud bunch and we don’t like to ask for help—but we need assistance. This short list may help you recognize a need and move to meet it (for yourself or others).
Offer assistance if someone has fallen or you see a caregiver struggling.
Help a senior set up their computer to access a livestream worship service or Zoom Bible study.
Greet warmly by name those in wheelchairs, with walkers or canes, or who move slowly.
Keep eyes on someone who has wandered away from their caregiver.
Provide a meal or a gift card to a restaurant or grocery store that delivers.
Find creative ways to include those who cannot easily participate in church events.
Offer respite care to let a caregiver have some time away.
Be a listening ear in a phone call, chance encounter, or home visit. Avoid trying to fix their life. Pray. Listen. Maybe give a hug.
RESOURCES:
PPL Resources | End of Life (https://www.ppl.org/end-of-life-issues)
The Center for Bioethics and Human Dignity, www.cbhd.org/
Finding Grace in the Face of Dementia, John Dunlop, MD, Amazon.com
What Happens After I Die, by Dr. Michael Allen Rogers, Pastor Emeritus, Westminster PCA, Lancaster, PA, Amazon.com
3-part sermon series from Galatians, “The Spirit versus the Flesh,” by Dr. Chris Walker, Senior Pastor, Westminster PCA in Lancaster, PA
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