Why Premarital Sex Can Kill Your Joy PDF Print E-mail
Written by Jonathan Shirk   

Fotolia 23820789 S optYears ago when I was in high school I had a conversation with one of my good friends. If my memory serves me correctly, my Christian friend was saying the Bible never said you could not have sex before you were married. Was he right?

At the time I did not have the Biblical wisdom or knowledge to discuss it thoroughly with him. My friend was a good thinker, and I assume, because of his faith in Christ, that he believed premarital sex was sinful, yet was wrestling with whether the Bible actually directly addressed the issue.

My friend's comment, or perhaps question, is still thought provoking and appropriate, and we need an answer, especially because premarital sex is such a controversial and relevant topic today. Does the Bible actually teach that we should not have sex prior to marriage? Sure, our parents, pastors, or Sunday School teachers may espouse the teaching, but is that fair? What does God actually say on the matter?

Some issues of the Bible are not as clear as others, not as exposed, not as readily understood. If you want to find gold, you must mine for it, which is no easy task. The Bible is a book to be thoroughly mined. Some topics require more rigorous digging.

However, just because a topic of the Bible is more "hidden" does not mean it is not there. A good example would be the doctrine of the Trinity. Someone could say, "Show me the word 'Trinity' in the Bible, and I'll believe it!" Well, that would be peculiar. We don't see the word "Trinity" in the Bible, but the teaching is undeniably there. We have to look closely to find it. This is how God has chosen to present the topic of premarital sex – somewhat hidden and requiring a bit of looking and digging. We do not see a line that says, "You shall have no premarital sex with anyone," but we do see some pretty persuasive passages.

Sounds like Porn

Several authors of Scripture use the term porneía?or "porneia" to describe "sexual immorality." This is, like most words, a term that can mean different things. One meaning of porneía is "fornication" or sex between two unmarried people. This word is used in the following texts and other places: Matt. 15:19; Mark 7:21; Acts 15:20, 29; Acts 21:25; 1 Cor. 6:13- 20; 2 Cor. 12:21; Gal. 5:19; Eph. 5:3; Col. 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:3.

Fotolia 47420615 M optA few passages of Scripture prove especially profitable in addressing premarital sex. They present for us guidelines of sexuality, one of the greatest gifts God has graciously given to us. Sex is exquisite, amplifying our joy in life and glorifying God when we cherish it as God designed. When we exploit sex for our own gratuitous pleasures and purposes, we at the same time fight against our highest joy in God and His design for sex, objectifying and cheapening it to the destruction of our joy.

The Creation of Marriage and Sex

Genesis 2:22-25, "And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, 'This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.' 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."

Here is the first marriage recorded in the Bible. God is the loving Father walking his beautiful daughter bride, Eve, down the aisle to her striking groom, Adam. God lovingly gives Eve to Adam as a wife, and then declares that "man shall leave his father and his mother," which further defines marriage. Then God says Adam is to "hold fast to" or "cling to" or "stick to" his wife. The idea is for a man to break from his parents and be united to his wife, an emotional, spiritual, physical, covenantal, even sexual union. The first example of inter-human relationship, one that involved sex, was between Adam, a man, and Eve, a woman, in the covenant or pledge of marriage, one ratified by God Himself.

Then God states something wonderfully significant: "they shall become one flesh." They become one flesh, united in physical intimacy and pleasure (though their oneness is not limited to sex). God then says, "the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed," a statement that adds resolution to marriage and sex. Adam and Eve had no guilt as they enjoyed each other sexually within the beautiful and joyful boundary of marriage, a sexual union without sin, shame, hindrance, or embarrassment.


[Next month Part two: How to battle sexual temptation, sexual misconduct & propriety and Shirk's conclusions about co-habitation and premarital sex.]

Pastor Jonathan L. Shirk lives with his wife and three young children in Mannheim, Pennsylvania where he is Pastor of Jerusalem Church in Penryn. Jonathan blogs at www.savedforjoy.blogspot.com and can be contacted by email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .


Sexual Purity Resources from PPL

Position Statement on Sexuality in colorful brochure.

Position Statement on Sexuality - Youth, a brochure for young adults.

How far is too far? A Medical doctor’s guide answers questions about touching and sexual temptation.

PURE HEARTS! PURE LIVES! A packet for youth leaders to help plan an event for youth that encourages sexual purity.

See our links page for more recommended resources

 

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